Monday 30 March 2009

spoon are sexy.

Anal Retention and how it could affect you!

Good evening. There has been a briefing about a majorbroadcast, due to happen sometime today. The topicemphasised is highly sensitive. Until recently, there has been no law on spoons in general, it is now officially illegal to:

· Ingest spoons
· bring a spoon to the workplace or school
· eat with a spoon
· converse with a spoon
· and now specifically Anally retain a spoon
On the 30th March 2009, scientist Proffesor Lucy Turner made a breakthough in Spoonhysterical science, she dicovered while removing a spoon from somebodys lower intestine that spoons have serious health risks these are as follow:

· Skitsophrenia
· Spooneriea ( falling in love with spoons)
· spoonamnesia ( believing you a spoon)
· Lead poisoning
· Pacman ghost bait

All Prof Lucy had to say was 'Its a terrible world we live in.' Proffesor lucy had a case only last month of one of her patients suffering from Pacman ghost Bait, this was from Analy retaining a desert spoon. All the patient had to say was 'Simply horrible, every time i went round a corner or sat down different colour ghosts would come and chase me, and when i would eat fruit or drink Cola they would turn blue and would run away from me, i dont know whether im coming or going anymore. But i can tell you now ! depsite these ridiculous laws i will remain a spoon addict for as long as i shall live.'The government heard about this claim, she is now facing trial.

Saturday 28 March 2009

yay (^_^)

hair cut :)
its all one length..ish, but i needed the ends cut off desperatly.
(it might not be very straight - my mum cut it for me (Y) i think :S)
ah well, at least no more split ends (Y)

o.m.g. could she have made it ANYMORE obvious! (well yeah but shh)

how could she!
right, yesterday this girl told the guy that i like that someone in his form likes him, a little birdy told me (thank you birdy <3) and the girls excuse was that she had been eating skittles(WTF -shit excuse) and that i looked lonley. tbf, i should decide if im lonely, i am fine! if i wanted anything to happen - i would have let birdy or tashy know and im sure they would do something about it!
and she said that she was gunna tell me that she said something, and i forgave her (im a dick) cause other wise she would be in a mood with me. then again, thinking back on it now, i wish ide had a epic spazz on her then maybe she'd learn that she cant go around doing that - but noo, i have to be the nice forgiving one! why? why do i fucking do that?!

(¬_¬)
dick tbf.

O.M.G.

Tash's brother, Bredon, kissed me... *looses my cool, runs around and panics*
he "snogged my forhead", kissed my cheeks and my lips. i was like ew go away.
he didn't. hes very anooying, he did it when i was busy so i couldnt waft him away *moody face*

Paaha, there's that cadbury advert with the funky eyebrows and balloon on the TV, thats a random advert.

Friday 27 March 2009

HIJJAK!!!!!!

Laura's blog has been hijacked.
By me, ZOE!! Because I am cool. And we have super cool converstaions on msn. And we're totally normal, I promise. Well, ok so maybe we are a little bit odd but still. What's the fun in being normal??

So, a note from Zoe to Laura:

I love you my crazy friendling.

By the way:

*runs off with both the shiney stones*

Thursday 26 March 2009

fo sho

im happy. i pissed people off. my msn spazzed and ran away and hid. PAHA.

Ooo i found it (Y).

i really need entertaining.... :

*dances & sings to an advert*

i have issues. i wanted to lick a window. i talk to myself. fo sho.

appologie. Sp?

i take back what i said about ben about him being hes just a little picky with my spelling and ok, he did hurt me but forgive and forget righ?
anyway.. i have my reasons to forgive him (if i didn't he wouldnt check my spellings :P)

Monday 23 March 2009

facking lazy cunt.

UGH! my sister was ringing and knocking on the door after 'taking the dog for a walk' A.K.A going to talk to my next door neighbours (the grumpy ones, not the annoying selfish dicks) whislt the dog was on a lead. and 'the gate is locked' - its a lie, its never locked - and i hd to get up, stop what i was doing, open the door AFTER i told her to take my keys so she could let herself in without causing a massive hoo-har.

okay, i know its petty but thats not the point, she never listens thats the point. also the point is that my mother is a lazy bitch.. but yeah..

anyway..

laura and tashy :)

tashy has new teeth :) ouch :)
gunna have words!
aha were sat next to an idiot
(not helen)

man, i cant write maddie's death properlyyy, ive written a tiny bit of it twice and both of them arn't very good :(

tashy asked me out :P (as a joke)
she also had a grilfriend called Loz, for 10 whole minutes.

Sunday 22 March 2009

complainging again.

Jeez. yesterday i went prom dress shopping - woo (!) - and i got SO bored so quickly (after trying on 1 whole dress and going round 4 shops, we went to a shop and got jam donuts and j2o's.. i liked that part :)... although i accidentally burped fairly loudly.. i hope no one heard.
and today i went to Sam's and i did fuck all *laughs* but it was a special time for me cause I'm not gunna see her for AGES cause she's going to Germany to be in the army.. :(
i also found a maybe prom dress online.. but i don't suit dresses, my shoulders are too wide, I'm too fat, too ugly, too masculine, too insecure - i dont even leave the house without a baggy jumper on..

ugh, dont you think that Ray Quinn has such a punchable face with his head-up-his-ass attitude.. hmm, i wonder if he can spy on the back of his teeth.. *wonders* and his hair - seriously, does he know what a shower/bath is? ugh self obsessed grease bucket... sorry my mother is watching Dancing on Ice and he is one of those people who have the gift of annoying me without me actually knowing them - i know, its harsh but still..
Oo big shocker - he won, never saw that one coming, never in a million years *sarcastic*

my arms are itchy.. just thought you might like to know.. :)

Oo i got new books *is very happy* - they're all about murder.. which kinda makes me sadistic cause i enjoy reading them.. but what i really want is to read/watch a hugely insanely graphically gory horror film/book.

CSI:NY last night - the coolest part was when the guy climbed over the fence and impaled himself on a metal pole.. and then the next scene is a guy attempting to mop up a spillage -he's just covering the floor in orange gloop. oo another cool part is when Sid cuts in to the girls body and that greenish substance bubbles out of her - was so cool (Y) all 3 times ive watched it - it has been rewound so we can watch it again - okay its sick, but it is SO damn awesome
& Awwww, Lyndsey's bump is showing now (although it was crazy fast)

Oh, and Kathy got the t-shirt, she said she screamed when she saw the package, i giggled.

LOL. Zoe just said "laura, your cat's making out with a pillow". she isnt, she is licking it - its the only time she really purrs - shes so loud, its kinda hard to sleep , i either have zoe moaning at Flicka cause shes annoying her by pissing her off when shes trying to sleep or licking a pillow.. shes a crazy cat.

once again, a colourful blog :)

anyway, ima go. *waves*

Thursday 19 March 2009

Edi & Edo

Edo reports on the news;news just in, it has been reported, just recently that Laura tried ingesting a dessert spoon when quite simply the rules are that no spoon ingesting is allowed!
She is currently being held in a cutlery factory until the spoon is anally REMOVED, she will then be taken to trial and is facing a death penalty.



Edi reports on the news the next day; news just in, Lucy trying to hide a spoon in her left thigh as she went through customs at the IRAQ air station. She had to be taken to a police station that specializes in spoon laws . Lucy will now face penalties as high as death its self or life in prison. She is not aloud to see another spoon again, if she does, the police fear she might go completely utterly physco and might start attacking the city (much like Godzilla) and eat you all.

i'm fallin

okay. its offical. i hate me. i dont want to do anything anymore. i cant be bothered with school. i copy other peoples work at the end of lessons. in lessons i just sit there day dreaming. what is wrong with me. i dont want to go fucking prom dress shopping with my nan on saturday. i dont want to do homework. i dont want to read. i dont want to draw. i want milkshakes and to stay in my bed away from everyone and thing. im changing and its not a good change. im sour. im lazy. im a bitch. i loathe me.

Wednesday 18 March 2009

a poem thing i wroteed

I wish I wasn't invisible to you.
Even if it was just for one day.
If only dreams came true.
I'de be right next to where you lay..

Pssshhhh!

Today i had to do some cooking for childcare - it was awful, i cant cook. i cooked pasta (the only thing i dont burn.) and mushed up fruit for a smoothie... the smoothie was quite nice actually.. but what i really want is bannana milkshake (<3) but we have none :(

grrr, this boy that i know, mentioning no names - BENJAMIN PAGE - is a divvy. he said yesterday that i was babbling again (not that he would know seeing as he has never actually spoken to me face-to-face, only over MSN, and the magority of the time he insults me.. e.g. "are you sure your a girl, you dont look or sound like one" i dont need him telling me this. i know i dont look like a girl, i know im a very VERY VERY ugly girl and hes always like this. i dont really like him anymore. and now ive lost pretty much what ever little confidence i actually had in my self. thanks a bunch, ya prick.

and then in Textiles today lizzie called me a bitch cause i was being sarcastic.. although i cant really remember what it was for though.. i proberly diserved it, although the look in her eyes and the tone of her horrible stuck up voice actually was quite hurtful. but im a nasty horrible person like that, but hey. if im being honest, im not sure why i have any friends because im such a nasty person.

the moral of this blog is; don't be friends with me - i will upset/insult you cause im a bitch like that.

i think my father has had a brain transplant.
evidence a) he gave me money (if you know my father you will know hes a tight ass and doesnt like to give money away.
evidence b) he offered to buy me tea - although i just wanted bannana milkshake.

anyway, im gunna go and write more of my story and talk to Kathy. ciao.